Maria Knodt

Brené Brown

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) – Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”

In her second book, researcher and author Brené Brown defines shame and its detrimental effect on our lives. She explains how shame differs from embarrassment, guilt, and humiliation, creating fear, blame, and disconnection. She then establishes how empathy can make us more resilient to shame and introduces the following four elements:

1. The ability to recognize and understand their shame triggers
2. High levels of critical awareness about their shame web
3. The willingness to reach out to others
4. The ability to speak shame

An important book to understand our own shame experiences, become more resilient, and avoid shaming others.

“Women with high levels of shame resilience were both givers and receivers of empathy.

Do you remember the petri dishes from high school science lab – those little round dishes? If you put shame in a petri dish and cover it with judgement, silence and secrecy, it grows out of control until it consumes everything in sight – you have basically provided shame with the environment it needs to thrive. On the other hand, if you put shame in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, shame loses power and starts to fade. Empathy creates a hostile environment for shame – it can’t survive.”