Maria Knodt

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Notes on Grief

The Nigerian writer, famous for books like Purple Hibiscus, Half of a Yellow Sun, and Americana, processes the loss of her father with this touching and thoughtful book about grief. She recounts how disturbing and unrevealing grief can be: “The layers of loss make life feel papery thin.” But she also realizes that grief is nothing else than a “celebration of love, those who could feel grief were lucky to have loved.” It helped me process my own grief by reading it and I can highly recommend it to anyone whether grieving or not.

“We have been so fortunate, to be happy, to be enclosed in a safe, intact family unit, and so we do not know what to do with this rupture. Until now, grief belonged to other people. Does love bring, even if unconsciously, the delusional arrogance of expecting never to be touched by grief? We stumble; we veer from an extreme forced cheer to passive aggressiveness, to arguing about where guests are to be served. Happiness becomes a weakness because it leaves you defenseless in the face of grief.”